Monday, September 9, 2013

Road Surveyor...

A few months ago, I met a guy on Match that seemed to have quite a bit in common with me, atleast that is what it seemed like.
We agreed to meet at a local Houlihan's restaurant, one happens to be very close to where I live, but he didn't know that.  I walked to the restaurant and met him at the bar.  We each had a $3 beer while waiting for a table.  You are probably wondering why I mentioned the cost of the beer, trust me, it's relevant.
One of the first things I noticed when meeting this guy is that he lied about his height.  He was another one that said he was over 6 foot tall, and when he showed up he had mysteriously shrunk to shorter than 5'10".  He also put off a bad smell.  Not like farts or BO, but instead, like some sort of nervous animal smell.
After a short wait in the bar, we were seated at a small booth.  When the waitress came to take our orders, I asked for another water, he asked for a large beer.  No appetizers, and I ordered an appetizer as a meal, and a side of french onion soup.  Date ordered a KC Strip, a shrimp skewer and a Lobster tail.  It was some sort of special Surf and Turf night, but each additional Surf item did cost.  In my head, I was thinking that he must be hungry or possibly trying to show off.
Dinner went okay, and I learned we didn't have much in common, except our college alma mater.
The waitress checked on us numerous times, I think she could tell it was a bit of an awkward first date.
Time for the check....He slid it towards me and told me I could pay since he paid for the beers at the bar.  I was dumbfounded and definitely thought he was joking.  I clarified with him, and he was serious about me paying.  I suggested we split the check and pay for our own meals, he said no, and told me I could pay since I had a good job and he paid for the beers at the bar.  The tab was over $60, and only $12 of it was mine.  At this point, I just wanted to get the heck out of there.  I grabbed my debit card, put it in the check folder and the waitressed passed by it many times.  Finally, she stopped and grabbed it, looked at me and said "all on your card?", she was also baffled.  I said, yep, I guess so.  He piped in saying that he paid for the beers....
This date couldn't end soon enough.
The next day, I got a text message from him saying he had a GREAT time and wanted to hang out really soon.  I didn't reply, I couldn't afford it :)


Sunday, September 8, 2013

It's been awhile..Technology Sales Guy..

It's been awhile since I last wrote, and I will definitely be able to fill in the gaps with some crazy dates...
Let's start with tonight's date...
We met at a local bar and grill at 6:30 pm.  If we are meeting for a date at 6:30 pm, I am assuming that we are eating dinner.  Nope, he ordered two ice waters, and an order of pretzel sticks for us to share...
He continued to interrupt and try to finish my sentences.  Excuse me buddy, we just met, you don't know what I am going to say next.
The waitress definitely noticed me in distress and continued to refill my ice water at a fast rate.  Not fast enough...
There were tv's all around, mostly playing different NFL games, so my attention was sometimes diverted.  Good thing, because it seemed like all he wanted to do was have a staring contest.
He did mention that he just moved from a 2 bedroom patio home, to a 5 bedroom house with a pool that he doesn't know how to take care of, so he had the pool company close it in June...ok...
Next up, he just returned from a family trip to Orlando, where is family of 15 (including nieces and nephews) vacations every year.  They go to Sea World Orlando every single year.  No Universal, No Disney, no beach, just Sea World.  Oh, and they did go out to eat at:  Olive Garden, Red Lobster and the Ponderosa Steakhouse (twice).  Yes, Ponderosa Steakhouses are still in business.
This date listed on match.com that he was 6'2" and he was not taller than me.  Come on guys, get a clue that height is something you cannot lie about.  Inflate your income on match.com if you are wanting to inflate something..
Next up, a date later this week with a entrepreneur.  We will see how this goes..