Friday, October 14, 2011

The over six foot pharmacist: DEFINITELY NOT A MATCH

Wow, not even sure where to start on this one.  First of all, I would like to apologize to all of my loyal readers (2-5 of you).  I took a break from blogging because of some minor surgery, but don’t you worry, I am back on the blogging train. 
So, for the next story, and possibly the best/worst date I have been on.  We met on, on paper in his pictures (from the shoulder up) he looked normal.  Six foot five, pharmacist, interested in sports (playing and watching), in good shape, likes to travel, likes dogs, close with his family, wants children.  All of it sounded great. 
We started messaging back and forth, then emailing, emailing moved to texting and a couple of phone calls were thrown in there as well.  Finally, he planned a date on Sunday to the arboretum (outdoor nature park).  I had never been to this place, so I thought it would be fun.  He also mentioned drinking wine while there, so I needed to bring an opaque container so we wouldn’t get busted. 
We planned to meet at a restaurant parking lot near the arboretum which was a ways from my house, but close to my brothers.  I decided this was safe, even though I don’t like to ride in the car with strangers.  My thinking was, it would be okay since we parked at a place that was public. 
As Sunday rolled around, I was getting excited for the date.  So much that I rearranged my appointment with the cable company, and they came early in the morning rather than mid afternoon.  We planned to meet at 12:30. 
As I drove into the parking lot, I was looking for his car, a new style Ford Explorer.  I saw one with a Giant Happy face front plate and thought that surely was not him.  Wrong.  It was.  He got out of the car and started  waving.  I parked, checked my hair and lip gloss once more and went over to his car to meet him.  As he walked over, I noticed he was more feminine in his walking than girliest of women I know.  Bad sign. 
He popped the trunk/hatch to his car and I put my blanket (which he asked me to bring to sit on in case we wanted to rest at the arboretum).  He had a bottle of white wine on ice.  He then told me I could put my purse in the back for the drive to the arboretum.  I told him, no thanks.  I don’t like to have my personal belongings out of my control.  Before he shut the trunk, he wanted to check my opaque container.  It didn’t pass his inspection. 
We arrived at the arboretum and it was stroller and dog central.  Nothing I minded, but turns out, both things that he minded.  As we started our stroll, sans wine because my container was too risky, he noticed I was interested in the dogs and that’s when he came out with the big news…he was a cat lover.  He has one cat, that if I wasn’t riding with him in the front seat today, his cat would have been.  He said the cat is very dog and human like.  He is even looking into breeding the cat.  I couldn’t help myself and asked “people actually breed cats on purpose?  I thought they were all accidents.”  He didn’t find that funny. 
On a sidenote, I find it interesting that two of my dates have compared their pets to something they are not.  Fireman compared his dachshund to a much larger dog and now tall pharmacist compared his cat to a dog or a human. 
At this point, I knew this was not going to work out long term or even for much longer.  Then he asked me if I really did like watching and playing sports and being outside.  I told him, yes to all three.  I even reminded that the day before I was in my college town watching my nationally ranked alma mater win in a football game.  He said he didn’t really like sports, playing or watching and didn’t like being outside much either.  The kill shot….I am not sure if you knew this, but I wasn’t able to put it on match, but I am bisexual.  I about lost it.  I told him, how was I to know that?  Of course I didn’t know it. 
By now, I was ready to leave but he was insistent on continuing to walk around and talk more.  I told him we really didn’t have much in common or anything else to talk about.  He was dishonest on his profile and I have enough gay guy friends, I wasn’t looking for more, especially not on 
He began to talk about his new job he was going to be starting at a different pharmacy.  He mentioned it was a conflict of interest because he and his mother both have their degrees of some kind in energy and hand healing.  I didn’t ask him to elaborate, I was already extremely annoyed. 
He asked what my plans were for the rest of the day, I told him I had just gotten a text saying my friend was in labor, so I needed to get there (he didn’t need to know it was a few states away.).  I also told him my brother who lived close texted me and needed me to stop by to watch the nieces for a bit. 
As we drove back to the restaurant where my car was parked, he elaborated on the fact that he didn’t like dogs and didn’t want kids.  Add all of that up plus the fact that he was bisexual, loved cats and wanted to breed them, didn’t like sports, could barely walk because of his lack of coordination, no risk taking skills (sneaking wine into a park) and many other things it definitely wasn’t a match!  I even told him that. 
Fast forward 3 hours after date, a text arrived:  I had a great time today, I can’t wait to see you again!  Maybe another Sunday Funday next week?! 
My reply:  Thanks, but as I said at the park, we are not a match and I am not interested. 
Days later, I remembered he still had my blanket in his car.  I texted him and told him I needed that back, he said he could ship it to my office.  I told him, no, I would find a way to get it back.  Suggestions??

WHOA, almost forgot to mention…he was wearing this on the date.  Yep, that’s right a bug repellent clip on his belt. 

Most importantly, he made fun of my iPhone and this pulled out his windows phone that resembled Zack Morris's phone.  He then went on to criticize Steve Jobs and the fact that so many people were sad that he was dead.  I explained to him that he really did change the world.  He said that was crap, an he didn't agree.  We had to agree to disagree, but another reason we wouldn't work, I like Apple, he doesnt. 

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