Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Farmer that couldn't hear or take social cues

Since some other professions hadn't worked out, I decided to take a chance and go out with a farmer this evening.
We met at a local restaurant known for many beers and great food.  I decided to meet him there because I don't like being picked up for first dates (another post).  We met at the bar, I ordered a beer (Shiner) and he had a 7 and 7.  As I was reaching for my beer, he grabbed my hand to hold it.  I was thinking to myself, whoa buddy, I just met you, I am not really wanting to hold your hand or show PDA.  
Next, we got a table.  On our walk to the table he tried to tell me I was taller than what I posted on Match.  My thought was, way to go dumbass, you really know how to score points with ladies, tell them they are bigger than you thought.
We sit down at dinner, and he wants to order an appetizer that I don't like.  I told him I didn't care for wings, and he said, well, if I pay for them, then I guess you will have to eat them.  Wrong again, buddy.  Once again, we just met, you aren't going to tell me what I have to do or eat.  
I ended up ordering cheesey noodles and he ordered tuna.  He continued to try to push me to take a bite of his food.  I didn't want any and said no thanks and he kept trying.  So, I took the cue and asked him if he wanted a bite of mine, he slid the plate over to him and started chowing down.
He did take care of the bill.  
After paying, I had to pee very badly.  When I get nervous, I tend to drink lots of water.  I think the poor waitress had to refill my glass atleast 7 times, I just wish she would have stayed and sat down and acted as a buffer.  We stopped at the restroom on the way out.  When I came out of the restroom, he immediately tried to grab my hand.  I told him, that they were still wet (they were out of paper towels), and I put them in my pockets to work on drying them off.  We walked out and he suggested walking around the shopping area.  
While we were walking he made me extremely uncomfortable.  Why, you ask?  Let's start with the fact that he continued to try to stick his hands in my pockets,  grab my hands out of my pockets and hold my hands, tickle me (which I consider torture), stop in front of display windows and try to kiss me, and then the worst part was when he put his hand up the back of my shirt.  I asked him to stop all of these things and he didn't.  We passed by a bar which had a new name, he tried to tell me what it used to be called, and I knew he was wrong.  I told him what I thought it used to be called.  He tried to bet me $1000 that he was right.  Finally, I told him I was ready to go back to my car and go home.  He seemed upset.  As we walked to my car he accused me of having another date tonight.  I assured him I didn't.  He then asked what we were doing on Saturday because he wanted to go out with him and stay the night.   I told him I was not staying the night and I already had plans for Saturday night.  
As he walked me to my car, he continued to try to grab my butt and I continued to swat his hand away and told him to stop.  He asked me to let him know when I made it home.  I texted him when I made it home.  I also checked google for the previous name of the bar, I was right.  I should have taken the bet.

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